This is a tale of three ethnic people who were chatting over lunch one day and the following conversation ensued. Ethnic Person Number One: “I love Easter as it’s the time of the year when we give eggs and small bunnies to the neighborhood kids who come knocking on our door saying Egg or Treat?”
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies
An old friend emailed me this list. I was and am unable to find the author’s name. If you know who the writer is then please let me know. Believe it or not, the following 9 Things Will Disappear In Our Lifetime. Whether these changes are good or bad depends in part on how we
A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.
The female dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot of Novocain. “No way! No needles. I hate needles” the patient said.. The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.. “I can’t do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on, suffocates me!”
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.” The distressed woman
Will Rogers Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages this country has ever known. Read on to smile at some of his witticisms. Some of his sayings: Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. There are two
A Minnesota farmer named Ole had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company’s hot-shot attorney questioned him thus: ‘Didn’t you say to the state trooper at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?” Ole responded: ‘vell, I’lla tell you vat happened dere. I’d
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had
It was a while ago when I worked in Canada at Varian Associates. The company controller was a nice enough guy but once in a while he would become a little anal in his approach to enforcing the company rules. I’ll call him Mike, because that was his name. Mike decided one day to become