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About

Chris_BlueRidgeChris Cane is a British born Canadian living in the USA. Most of his career is in marketing and sales of high tech electronic products that for the most part are not purchased or used by regular folks in their own home. The products included radar postioning systems, electron tubes and ….

To many of folks, I have a dry wit probably because I was born in th UK, I grew up with British parents in Canada and now live in the USA. When asked about my lineage I typically answer that I am a British born Canadian now living in the USA. This gives me the unique ability to look at life more objectively (read as jaundiced) than most of us.

My wit can be punny to some.. It’s appreciated by some but virtually all people can groan when I choose to play with a word or two. I said that once I “submitted ten puns to a competition hoping that one would win, but no pun in ten did.” I admit that this particular pun is not original but most of mine are.

Pages

  • About
  • Blog
  • BUCOLIC SCENE
  • Example
  • get-lucky (Go To Random Page )
  • Glossary
  • Hi Google Commands
  • Home
  • My Name Christopher – What’s in a name?
  • Offensive Stuff
  • The Pacemaker
  • Videos
    • Just Kids – 1986 – June (Hockley Church)
    • Just Kids – Tribute – Final Show
    • 1989 Amy’s Grade School Graduation
    • The Full Duck
    • Summer 1987
    • M.I.S. Behavin – Michigan Speedway
    • Route 66 – Chicago to St. Louis
    • April Fools Day 2007
    • Saint Paddies Day 2007
  • Contact Me
  • The Latest

Categories

  • Amjo Related
  • Bastards
  • Computing
  • Humor
  • Might be true!
  • My Life
  • Pure Bullshit
  • Rare Miscellany
  • True Stuff
  • Useful Stuff

1

  • 19 Things it took me 50 years to learn.

4

  • 47 Reasons Why Men Are Virtually Never Depressed?

a

  • A Biker will never hesitate to help where help is needed!
  • A boiled egg is hard to beat and Acupuncture is a jab well done!
  • A farmer’s advice and the ten commandments
  • A Heart Warming Story!
  • A Little Fooking goes a long way!
  • A really tough quiz with easy questions.
  • A Senior Citizen’s View on Modern Technology!
  • A Sharp Mind is Very Important as We Age.
  • A simple meal at Red Robin Burgers turns to humor!
  • Advice from a retired husband or Why most men die before their wives.
  • Alone in the Motel and a little Horny
  • Amazing Very Old – Telephone Networks Discovered
  • Ambergris – Sperm Whale Vomit – Would you like some?
  • Amy, my daughter, the budding archaeologist.
  • An older couple falls in love. Sex is in the air!
  • Are you a Pilot or a Lesbian?
  • Are you are a betrothed guy? Here’s some useful advice with a moral.
  • Are you comfortable? Please comfortable!
  • Are you older than dirt? (I am)
  • As an Irishman lay dying!
  • Ask me why I don’t go to reunions!
  • Ask your doctor about Cabernet Sauvignon?
  • Ass(inine) Economics – Raffle a dead donkey!

b

  • Baby, if you’ve ever pondered?
  • Bad Karma – Sometimes, you can’t get away from it.
  • Ball Study – Gotta love them ball stories
  • Beer – The ladies of Beer
  • Birds of a feather flock together and then crap on your car.
  • Black Bra & Heels – Three Women, Three Stories, One Joke
  • Blowing it up your ass.
  • Blowjobs, Porn Stars and Airborne Choppers
  • Boarding the Coastal Boat – The Vacation!
  • Boys will be boys!
  • Breaking News: Man loses penis in auto accident
  • Burgers and Beer for the Siamese

c

  • Can you get milk from a Scottish Cow?
  • Can you go home? Nostalgia?
  • Can your dog read?
  • Canadians at War in Korea
  • Canadians know how to make babies! Do you?
  • Canadians: “BUILD A DAMN FENCE!”
  • Capital letters, how important are they? Really?
  • Cars behaving squirrely or R.I.P. Rocky
  • Catholic Parrots
  • Chatting on a Plane: Is it a good idea?
  • Chicken Soup with Rice, memories of Maurice Sendak and other stuff
  • Chinese to Engrish – Sometimes Funny
  • Chris Cane – Banned from the West Chester Kroger Store
  • Christmastime – guilt, love, apologies! Actions do speak louder than words!
  • Cincinnati – Parking Lot Scam!
  • Clever Criminals Exist Everywhere!
  • Colonel Angus – Pun or Homophone? Who Cares?
  • Crayfish, Crawfish, Crawdads and Mudbugs
  • Crossing the Border!
  • Cyanara Baby aka Hasta La Vista, Baby

d

  • Damn Beavers, left unattended, can clear a forest in no time…
  • Damned women drivers!
  • Darwin Proven Right Again – This time by M&M’s
  • Definition of Couple Sex
  • Did the Jews really have problems with their genitals?
  • Do not use corn on the cob as a dildo!
  • Do squirrels always remember where their nuts are?
  • Do Tomatoes have Plots? Here’s One!
  • Do you hear what I hear?
  • Do you know where Bockwurst comes from?
  • Do you think I should change dentists?
  • Do you wear a toboggan?
  • Doctor, How many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
  • Does marriage counseling really work?
  • Does your car float? Does your crane float?
  • Dog on Safari! Tasty Leopard Story!
  • Down on the farm, people seem to be a bit more practical.
  • Drugs, Divorce and Murder
  • Dying with dignity or Dignity! Is there a difference?

e

  • Engrish, well speeched hear!
  • Etch a Sketch vs Laptop
  • Excerpts from The Redneck Book of Manners

f

  • Family BBQ Rules. Standard Operating Procedure – New Release.
  • Family Wedding Tradition – Release the doves!
  • Farting in Starbucks – Perhaps Not a good idea!
  • Federal Avian Pathologist’s Report – Crow learns that 200 of his friends have passed away ignominiously.
  • Federal Tax Refund – Explained
  • Financial Planning Advice
  • Finding food in Winterpeg, Manitoba. Yes, this is a true story!
  • Finish what you started!
  • Finkelstein and Jesus
  • Flowers for Christmas
  • For Dog Lovers everywhere!
  • Foul language in the work place must stop now!

g

  • George Carlin on Religion!
  • Get Serviced! What are your feelings about Service?
  • Getting Nun at Hooters
  • Gifts for an aging Mother.
  • Glitterati and the Gynecologist.
  • Glory Glory Glory – There was Glory all around!
  • Good Fences make Good Neighbors!
  • Google 1919 vs Google 2013
  • Grandma ‘Mrs Hughes’ Comedy
  • Grandmothers and Grandfathers: Is there a difference
  • Great Truths About Life – Kids, Adults and Growing Old

h

  • Happy Festivus (a Holiday for the Rest of Us)
  • Have you ever seen Saskatchewan?
  • Having a bad day? Think of poor Santa Claus
  • He Loved Claire-Lee more!
  • Heart Warming Story – Number Two
  • Helga, The Cruise Ship, Sex and the Captain
  • Hell Hath Frozen Over
  • Helping out around the house: The Toilet Seat
  • Here’s how to buy a Husband or perhaps a wife?
  • Hey Mommy, What’s a virgin?
  • Hey! I want a quickie!
  • Holiday Eating Tips and Dietary Considerations
  • Hollywood Squares – Gaffs, Fun and Memories
  • Hollywood Squares – Humor at its best!
  • Honda Owner’s Manual (1962)
  • Hot Ass Gillard or The Propane Toilet Story
  • How can Vaginal surgery help hearing?
  • How do you know when your duck is dead?
  • How do you like your coffee?
  • How fights start…
  • How frequently should older folks have sex?
  • How much wood could a Woodpecker Peck if a …
  • How Not To Get Laid
  • How to be a good wife.
  • How to correct your parrot’s language
  • How’s Your Father (Yes, this is a euphemism)

i

  • I am banned from Walmart – Imagine That!
  • I have a printer problem.
  • I thought libraries were supposed to be quiet.
  • I wish you Enough!
  • Investment Tips for 2014 (Investing 101 Class)
  • Is it your time to die? This guy lives to see another day!
  • Is the Doberman or the Chihuahua a better Seeing Eye Dog?
  • Is There Sex After Death?
  • It ALMOST never snows in Cincinnati
  • It was me, said the flea or perhaps it was I said the fly.
  • It’s Those Fluctuations That Will Get You Every Time
  • Italians love sausage and make great fire fighters!

j

  • Jeff Foxworthy’s Take On Canada
  • Jim and Janet or Jim Learns to Cook Alone!
  • Just Fred – The man with no last name
  • Just Kids 1986 – The Performance

k

  • Kampei or Bottoms Up – Japan Style
  • Kings, Queens, Boobs and Morals

l

  • Ladies Night Out and the Cuckoo Clock
  • Legal Logic or Logical Legality or Is Logic Legal?
  • Legitimate Rape – How can anyone believe that Legitimate Rape Exists?
  • Lincoln Navigator, Black Lab, Dynamite and Red Necks
  • Little Johnny Strikes Again
  • Look out for those Fokkers! – Veteran’s Day

m

  • Mad Cow Disease – An Irish Description
  • Man v Woman – The Oil Change
  • Medical Joint Venture – Never again!
  • Memory, Vision, Taste! I guess hearing is not as important.
  • Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
  • Merry Christmas – Jingle Bells – Punjab Style
  • Method in my Madness or How I learned to clean my glasses.
  • Microsoft and Ford – An unlikely rivalry!
  • Might have been the real R2D2
  • Military Words of Wisdom
  • Ming Vase and il banditore italiano (The Italian Auctioneer)
  • Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi – The stuff you didn’t know!
  • My Annual Apology (What’s the Pont?)
  • My Colonoscopy Journal
  • My Colonoscopy or May I look into it for you?
  • My dog: The Paradox or The Oatmeal Understands Me.
  • My Feelings on Health Care
  • My First or at least someone’s first.
  • My name is CHRISTOPHER not CHRISTOPHE and I’m Pissed Off.
  • My UnBucket List – These things will never be done by me

n

  • Never Argue with a Woman Who Reads!
  • Never buy a Robot Lie Detector
  • Never Squat With Your Spurs On !
  • New Virgin of the Christmas Story
  • Nine things that will probably disappear in your lifetime!
  • Now Chris Cane is Banned from Bigg’s Grocery Store in West Chester
  • Now who’s the horse’s ass?
  • Nuns are not Spinsters

o

  • Obama Care – Medically Speaking
  • Observation is the key to good police work.
  • On being faithful
  • On my way to looking something up!
  • Only in New York
  • Options for Holy Insurance
  • Our US Travels
  • Over 60? Were you home schooled?

p

  • Party at the Senior Center last night.
  • Pasquale’s Funeral – A really sad tale.
  • Patience is a Virtue that Some Priests Don’t Have.
  • Pet Peeves – A very long list.
  • Please help this man find his wife!
  • Please let’s not whine! We’re making wine in Columbus Ohio!
  • Poltergeist – The Scary Movie – A family true story!
  • Porcine Immaculata or The Three Legged Pig Story
  • Potential Realism and Brad Pitt
  • Priests at the Beach in Hawaii
  • Public Service Announcement – Gentlemen – Please Read
  • PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL – Spring News Flash.

q

  • Queen Elizabeth and the Isetta

r

  • Re-Tiring in Utah (Roving Roadster Style)
  • Religion is like a penis
  • Renegade Raging Grannies – Just Akin to sing you a song!
  • Republican or Democrat – Explained
  • Reunions Can Be Fun!
  • Right Hand Drive is for the Bahamians, the British, the Japanese, the Australians but not me!
  • Right Hand Driving – Just BUDGE over if you can.
  • Rotary vs Fixed Wing Aircraft
  • Rye Bread and Old Age

s

  • Saving soles and dying or is it dyeing?
  • Sex & Earthquakes
  • Sex after seventy can be a challenge!
  • Sex for Seniors – Check with your doctor first and second and third etc.
  • Sex scene from a romance novel ?
  • Sexy Math Puzzle!
  • Shoot the damned bird.
  • Simple Mathematics
  • Single Black Female – Atlanta Area
  • Skipping Second Grade
  • Snohio – Fear of white stuff.
  • Some blonde jokes are actually funny and some are not!
  • Some people will think this is Knot funny.
  • Some Skirts maybe too short. Here is a quiz!
  • Some Wives are more Sensuous than Others?
  • Something not so Trivial in Australia –
  • Sometimes the dentist is a lady!
  • Sometimes two assumptions can get two people in trouble!
  • Southbound on The Coastal Boat 1971
  • Sports Medicine: Treatment of Black Eye or Eyes
  • Stoopid is as Stoopid Does!
  • Strong Coffee
  • Super Hot Blonde on a Horse – Read all about it!

t

  • Taffy the Saint Bernard needs a vet!
  • TALKING BULLDOG FOR SALE
  • Talking Dog For Sale – Cheap!
  • Talking loudly on a quiet train can get you in all kinds of shit!
  • TAXES: A detailed explanation – Are they good for us?
  • Telephone Answering Machines Can Record Foul Language (The Proof is Right Here)
  • Tell me! How’s Norma doing?
  • Terrorist Threat Levels are Changing!
  • Testicular Manipulation on the Golf Course
  • Thank you for your advice and help.
  • That’s Nice
  • The absolutely most amazing thing about Spaghetti and Sex!
  • The Age of a Man as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot
  • The Apple iPad and Me – The Digital Equivalent of a Dumb Blond
  • The ATM Drive Thru – Man vs Woman, The ATM Pants Utilization Insufficiency
  • The Beach Was Too Sandy!
  • The best genie in a bottle joke ever!
  • The Biker’s Code, the Cushion Saturation
  • The Bottle of Wine
  • The Brave Frog or the Frog He Would a Pooing Go
  • The Broken Garbage Disposal – as told by Claude Balls.
  • The Calculator Story of 1972
  • The Chaos, by Gerald Nolst Trenité – Written in 1922
  • The Chaplain and my Dad
  • The Clergyman, The Pretty Girl, The Customs Guy and The Hair Dryer
  • The Coffee, The Indian and The Buffalo! Oh yes I nearly forgot ‘And the Gun’
  • The Coronation
  • The Curtain Rod and the Shrimp Saga.
  • The Dead Horse Theory
  • The Death of Common Sense and Profiles of Those Who Knew Him
  • The Diaries of Him and Her – Slightly different twist!
  • The Dinner Party
  • The Divorce
  • The Dragon Slayer, Two Queenly Breasts and The Kings’s Boxers
  • The Drinker’s World
  • The Easter Bunny and the Three Ethnic People
  • The Engineers Approach
  • The Essence of Chutzpah
  • The Faux Pas of The Sausage Rolls
  • The Flat Tire and the History Test
  • The Goldberg Brothers – The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner
  • The Great Storm of 71 – Fundy National Park – Camping with Chris & Cheryl
  • The Green Thing!
  • The Hazard of the Masquerade!
  • The Heterosexual Questionnaire
  • The Hot Pepper Story!
  • The Ides of March – Random thoughts!
  • The Irish Gambling NUDE Blonde
  • The Irishmen and their Sausage!
  • The LA Math Test – Humorously Challenging
  • The Land Rover Saga
  • The Law of Unintended Consequences
  • The Little Engine That Couldn’t – Not just a children’s story anymore!
  • The Mathematics of Marriage
  • The Mexican Navy Attacks the USA.
  • The Mistake that Mike Made – Stickers on Windshield
  • The Most Remarkable Heartfelt Letter From a Senior Citizen.
  • The Muffin and Happy Fiber Day – It’s a Bran New Day – NPR Betty White SNL Sketch
  • The nerve of the guy! Emily Post helps plan a wedding!
  • The Nine Question: Really Difficult Quiz!
  • The Ocean View – A trip through time.
  • The other side is where it is!
  • The Pearly Gates (A Christmas Story)
  • The Pelican, crane, heron or stork, and the Frog
  • The Perfect Storm – Empathy and Logophile.
  • The Power of the Song or “Don’t Fuck with a Canadian Musician!”
  • The pregnancy saga of Sandra and Patrice
  • The Priest and the Rabbi
  • The Pussy, The Taxi and the Parakeet!
  • The Rabbit, The Pub and the Toastie
  • The Realities of Christmas – Timmy and Santa are Pen Pals.
  • The Reunion – 60th High School Reunion
  • The Sad Passing of the Pillsbury Doughboy.
  • The Sales Meeting and the Trip to Wrigley Field
  • The Senior Road Trip! This could be me!
  • The Shower and the Sexes
  • The Snow Job – Selling in the Seventies
  • The Stolen Car
  • The Teacher, The Kid and the Three Little Pigs
  • The Three Legged Chicken
  • The Three Most Important Organs in the Body.
  • The Tiffany Diamond Bracelet and the Flatulence
  • The Titillating Tale of Two Titties or Thanks for the Mammogram
  • The Toll Collector
  • The true story of Easter
  • The udder side of the Minnesota Story
  • The Ultimate Rule Maker
  • The value of wine! No Poop!
  • The Verdict may surprise you.
  • The Wake Up Call
  • The Wildest Christmas Dinner
  • The words and phrases of my youth.
  • The Wrangler in Utah and My Mom
  • The Wurst Fire in Lake Wobegon’s History (with apologies to Garrison Keillor and Betty White)
  • Things are not always as they appear!
  • This is an Amazing Way to Learn to be a Gunfighter
  • Tick Warning – Southern Ohio – Cincinnati Area – Be Careful
  • Time Management Circa 1980 – Chris Cane Style
  • To flip or not to flip? That is the question!
  • Torture by Ma Na Ma Na – The DEW Line 1969
  • Tough Tough Choices – Which do you prefer?
  • Towing a Mini Cooper – Good idea? – Sure! Why not?
  • Training a Saint, Saints don’t like change!
  • Travels with Dad – The Hairy Peacock
  • Trying to do the docent thing!
  • Two Liners – Thumb are Funny
  • Two Nice Guys Knock on My Front Door.

u

  • Under attack – Brute Force Attack and Loginizer
  • Unimagined Sensitivity in Some Men
  • Ursula’s Body Rub Parlor

v

  • Veteran’s Administration refuses to treat a war hero!

w

  • Walmart Wine by Ernesto & Julio Gallo
  • Waxing Your Hoo Ha or Waxing Poetic – Who Remembers “Wax On, Wax Off?”
  • We’re Hertz – They’re Not
  • Wells, Wells, John Wells is my name and selling is my game.
  • What are the advantages of Mother’s Milk?
  • What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
  • What happened when P. Niss asked for a raise?
  • What Religion is Your Bra?
  • What would you say to a naked person?
  • Whazza matter with our youth? I know Youthanazia is not the answer!
  • When I am an old woman I shall wear purple.
  • When Insults Had Class…
  • Where did I come from? or How was I born?
  • Where do Senators go when they die? Heaven or Hell!
  • Which country has the Hardest Peckers? Canada or Mexico? or Who needs nuts when you have a hard pecker?
  • Who are these folks?
  • Who knew that a swan could be this sexy? What’s next? Perhaps a Goose, Now that’s sexy!
  • Who said that? or “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.”
  • Who Spanked Me Till I Was Red?
  • Why can’t athletes have regular jobs?
  • Why is Daddy’s car in the woods?
  • Why men should not give advice!
  • Why Parents Drink ?
  • Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:
  • Wild Turkey and Coke Do Not Mix. I prefer Wild Turkey on the rocks!
  • Will I ever get to Heaven? The Scottish Version.
  • Wisconsin Insurance (For Wooden Legs)
  • Woman stops gator attack with a small Beretta pistol
  • Women find this funnier than men do! I don’t see why?
  • Women have turned men into Whys. Examples Follow!
  • Women’s Australian Sand Soccer – Beach Volleyball Sucks!
  • Words to live by: Suggestions from an Econ Teacher

y

  • Young, True Love. Could this really happen?

z

  • Zachary Rike Disease
1 Comment

One thought on “About”

  1. Rick Quinn says:
    November 6, 2013 at 4:11 PM

    Happened upon your site when surfing something else. How have you been?

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