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Author Archives: Chris Cane

Holiday Eating Tips and Dietary Considerations

Posted on December 18, 2010 by Chris Cane

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls. . Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare… You cannot find it any other

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Posted in Humor, My Life, Rare Miscellany | Tags: Cardiology Associates, insurance, Labor Day, New Year |

Happy Festivus (a Holiday for the Rest of Us)

Posted on December 7, 2010 by Chris Cane

In 1997, Jerry Seinfeld and his team created a great holiday for the folks who are challenged by the concept of Hannukha and Christmas and perhaps even Kwanzaa. Many of us believe that it was the Seinfeld show that created Festivus but actually it was created by Dennis O’Keefe in 1966. O’Keefe is a comedy writer

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Posted in Humor | Tags: christmas, festivus, Festivus Pole, hannuka, Happy Festivus, It Festivus, Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Patton, Seinfeld Show |

Finish what you started!

Posted on December 3, 2010 by Chris Cane

Peace and Tranquility I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all

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Posted in Humor | Tags: Bailey Irish Cream, White Zinfandel |

Military Words of Wisdom

Posted on November 30, 2010 by Chris Cane

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.” Infantry Journal “It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.” U.S. Air Force “Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.”- General MacArthur

Posted in Humor, Rare Miscellany | Tags: Air Force, Army Ordnance, helicopter, Infantry Journal, Platoon Sergeant, Unknown Marine Recruit |

The Toll Collector

Posted on November 29, 2010 by Chris Cane

It was a few years ago that the toll on I-90 at Randall Road near St. Charles Illinois was 40 cents. I did not have an iPass, nor an iPhone or iPad at that time. It always angered me that tolls were collected as the damned toll booths typically slowed traffic so that we, the

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Posted in Humor, My Life | Tags: Charles Illinois, Randall Road |

Grandmothers and Grandfathers: Is there a difference

Posted on November 29, 2010 by Chris Cane

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers?  Well, here it is: There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son’s family on weekends.  Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time –

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Posted in Humor | Tags: Every Saturday, family |

Having a bad day? Think of poor Santa Claus

Posted on November 23, 2010 by Chris Cane

When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three

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Posted in Humor | Tags: apple, Merry Christmas, Pre Christmas, Santa Claus |

Ursula’s Body Rub Parlor

Posted on November 11, 2010 by Chris Cane

It was in Winnipeg many years ago. I was a bright young salesman for Varian Canada. It was probably 1975 or so before I was promoted to sales manager. A sales manager would never make this mistake. As I recall I arrived in Winnipeg late one evening and had plans to visit several customers the

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Posted in Humor, My Life | Tags: Body Rub Parlor, Varian Canada |

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple.

Posted on November 9, 2010 by Chris Cane

A nostalgic moment! Today I came across an article on Facebook leading to a photo of Queen Elizabeth II wearing purple. As my mom got older she loved a poem that’s called “When I am an old woman I shall wear purple” I am seeing that the Queen is also a lover of purple, I

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Posted in My Life | Tags: book |

Ball Study – Gotta love them ball stories

Posted on September 28, 2010 by Chris Cane

An oldie but goodie. Balls are like Pussies, there’s always a joke somewhere. After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America’s recreational preferences: The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling. The sport of choice

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Posted in My Life | Tags: National Science Foundation, Nice Balls |

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