Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet. My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort. Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor. How many Germans does it
SOME OF THESE THEY SAY ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY “THOMAS COOK VACATIONS” FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS. Where do these people hide when they’re not on vacation? The Beach was too sandy
A man is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Bulldog For Sale ‘He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the Bulldog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking
This listing was copied from somewhere. Read to the end to find out! 1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them. 2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message. 3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. 4. If a street performer makes you stop walking,
Lexophilia “Lexophile” is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless.” A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed
This is a short story! I did hear a couple of young and pretty, twenty-somethings talking about a tattoo on a boyfriends penis. Prudence: I’m kinda happy that Rémy found you after we broke up. I’ll never forget Rémy. He’s the only guy I ever slept that had a tattoo on his penis. I recall
A Texas Husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing. Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home… Sergeant: What is her height? Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
. Never Argue with a Woman Who Reads……. One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out herself. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet
ARE WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA? ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING? ONE Recently, I went to McDonald’s and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: “Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000.” Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine,thought