I do hope that this will finally quash the debate regarding the facts of evolution and the crap about creationism. The proof given below is incontrovertible.
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
This showed up on my FaceBook page. I think I traced it’s origin to 1996 when it was published by Emil Huston at the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto <Click Here>
If this process were to continue for the next thousand years eventually we would create a M&M that would be impervious to the human bite. When the M&M reaches a point at which it starts cracking enamel selection pressure would cause the M&M to approach an optimal hardness. Not so hard as to hurt yet
not too wimpy. However, our desire for the M&M could cause human teeth to get stronger!
Many years ago, a strong breed of M&M roamed the supermarkets. This creature expressed a powerful toxin in its protective coat, a toxin which attacked the hereditary material of its predators, causing cancer and death. This M&M’s bright red coloration warned of its lethal content, but its major predator — human beings — paid little heed, and consumed the M&M’s in vast quantities. When its toxic properties became widely known, the species was, of course, completely eradicated, and it is now extinct. Recently, however, a case of perfect mimicry has been spotted in the supermarket — an M&M with the same coloration, but with a harmless (in fact, quite tasty) coating.
Daily reports seem to indicate that these new creatures are becoming more common, and are invariably found with a green species, which are postulated to live in symbiotic relationship with the new red species. Research is underway.