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Home » Humor » Helga, The Cruise Ship, Sex and the Captain

Helga, The Cruise Ship, Sex and the Captain

Posted on July 25, 2013 by Chris Cane

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c_shipHELGA’S DIARY ON A CRUISE SHIP


DEAR DIARY – DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship — all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, and short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter – The Late Bloomers – decided on this “all-girls” trip. It will be my first one – and I can’t wait!


DEAR DIARY – DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins.  Met the Captain today — seems like a very nice man.


c_table_2DEAR DIARY – DAY 3

At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.


DEAR DIARY – DAY 4

Won $800.00 in the ship’s casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.


c_poolDEAR DIARY – DAY 5

Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.  Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me that if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship… I was shocked.


DEAR DIARY – DAY 6

Today I saved 2600 lives . Twice.

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